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Why Insecurity Leads to Self-Sabotaging Behaviours

Insecurity | Confidence | Self-Sabotaging | Anxiety | Perfectionism | Unrealistic Expectations |


Insecurity can sneak up on you when you don't even know it. You can feel quietly confident about yourself and then suddenly feel an intense amount of anxiety that can lead to self-sabotaging behaviours. Most people find it difficult to pin point what exactly makes them feel insecure, or they over-generalise the feeling of insecurity as a personality trait or how they are.


Confidence is a big word, many people believe that they should have confidence and wants to feel confident in all areas and aspects of their life. However the truth is most people feel confident in certain areas of their life and not so confident in others. For instance they may feel insecure in social situations and worry about how they may connect with others but they feel confident about how they present them selves at work. The expectation you have to be confident in all areas of your life is often unrealistic and and not being able to meet this expectation may amplify feelings of insecurity.


Even when you feel insecure there is most probably still one or two things you can identify that you feel "confident in" doing. You can identify this as your strengths and remind yourself that not everyone is good at everything. People usually become confident in what ever skill they want to improve on over time. After exposing yourself to what you're afraid (i.e social situations, work presentations ect) and you start practising how you want to be in those situations, even though the fear may overwhelm you time to time most people start to develop a feeling of confidence as they begin to feel proud of themselves for trying and giving it a go.

Remember that even the most "confident" people don't have "confidence" in all aspects of their life. Instead of labelling yourself as insecure, why not ask yourself "in what situations do i feel confidence in and in what other situations do i want to improve my skills?“ By identifying both your strengths and weaknesses you can lessen the amplification of the feelings of insecurity which may help you to see yourself as a human being, imperfect, yet still whole and complete.


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